@crismottaphotos | Barbie Patel at Bishop’s Lodge
At Bishop’s Lodge in Santa Fe, there was a card with my name on it. BARBIE, in big terracotta letters. Another card said “Beyond the Title” and asked what I’d love for people to know about me. I introduce myself all the time. I can tell you what I do in one breath. This question took me longer.
I was in Santa Fe for Dose of Pause, Rajinder Rai’s first wellness retreat with SUNRAIS Health. The theme was “Pause. Power. Play.” In her welcome letter, Rajinder acknowledged how much juggling it probably took for us to get there. I appreciated that she started there. I know how much work it can take to clear three days, and how quickly I can fill them again if I let myself.
Bishop’s Lodge gave those three days room to unfold. On the property map, the Bunkhouse was circled, tucked between the waterfall and the meadow. It was the gathering place for much of the retreat. The itinerary moved from a golden-hour gathering to a welcome dinner at SkyFire, with stargazing on the first night. Tuesday’s schedule included movement and meditation, sessions with Rajinder, dinner at Paloma in downtown Santa Fe, and dancing. In the middle of it all was a two-and-a-half-hour block called “Your Time, Your Way.” I plan experiences for a living, and I kept thinking about the decision to leave that much of the afternoon open.
@crismottaphotos | Bishop’s Lodge in Santa Fe
The freedom to choose
One of the first questions in my notebook was “What does power mean to me?” Underneath it, I wrote “freedom to choose” and “customize my life.” That second one sounds exactly like me. Give me something to plan, and I’ll find a way to make it my own. The harder part is deciding what I actually want when I’m used to thinking about what everyone else needs.
I’m proud of being capable. It’s helped me build businesses, raise a family, and be someone people can count on. Somewhere on that same page, though, I asked myself what might be possible if I didn’t always have to hold everything together. I also wondered what I might be avoiding by staying so busy. I’m still sitting with both questions.
I thought about my mother’s generation and the choices I have today that many women in her generation didn’t have. I think a lot about what I’m building for my daughters, including what it means to build generational wealth. In Santa Fe, I made room for another question. What kind of life do I want for myself while I’m building all of that?
@crismottaphotos | Dose of Pause retreat guests at Bishop’s Lodge
An afternoon without an agenda
One of the simplest things I wrote was that it’s okay to play. I can turn almost anything I enjoy into a plan, a project, or something to film. I love that about the way my mind works. I also want to remember what it feels like to make something because I’m curious, or to leave an afternoon open and see what I feel like doing when it comes.
I’d written that I was ready for 2026 to be over. A page later, I was asking myself whether I was making time to enjoy the life I already had. Seeing those thoughts next to each other made me think about how often I look ahead to the next thing when there’s still time left in the day I’m in.
The last morning of the retreat was called “Carry the Rhythm Home.” In my notebook I’d written “live your dash,” thinking about the years between the dates and the people who are better off because we were kind to them. When I think about what I want to carry home from Santa Fe, it’s something I can actually picture doing. Leaving an afternoon open and letting it stay that way.
